Reunion - Angst and Appreciation

We went to my 20th college reunion this past weekend. Why do reunions have the power to make even the most confident person question themselves? I just read the blog of one of my most accomplished and talented classmates, and she apparently had angst about our reunion. One of our other classmates, a brilliant writer, mentioned to me that she was suffering from reunion shyness. There were numerous doctors and lawyers (okay, you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting a lawyer) and other movers and shakers, and even a few multi-millionaires (probably more than just the two or three that I know about). There were several married couples who were both members of our class, and there were lots and lots of kids, from infants up through teenagers. And although many of us probably were a little anxious at the beginning of the weekend, overall, there was a sense of camaraderie, of shared experience, that really pervaded that tent on the quad; I felt it this year much more than during our past reunions.

Maybe it's because we're older, and hopefully, wiser. I certainly feel like I can give other people (and myself) more of a break now, like I'm not nearly so quick to judge as I was when I was younger. Maybe it's that we've finally recognized that each of us has something to be proud of, talents to display; after all, it was Amherst, it's not like any of our classmates were complete screw-ups! Maybe it's because of Facebook and other social networking sites; I definitely was looking forward to seeing in person some of the people I've become friends with on Facebook, whom I was not necessarily friends with at college. Maybe it's just that we're all happier with ourselves these days, so we're not trying to be anyone else. Maybe we're just more willing to overlook other people's shortcomings, in the hopes that they will overlook ours. Maybe it's a combination of all of these things.

Looking back, I feel like I missed out on some great college experiences and friendships when I was there. I was so busy trying to be the person I wanted to be, and I spent a lot of energy on being miserable. Of course, I would never have listened if someone had told me to get out and meet more people or join a group for that purpose (in fact, it's entirely possible that my parents recommended that very thing and I berated them for it - sorry, Mom). I do know that I loved my classes and my professors; that I made at least 3 fabulous friends for life, whom I've kept in touch with regularly over the years; and that I lived in dorm rooms that were way better than most college housing, including all 4 years of my daughter's college rooms (sorry, Jess). Although much of my college experience is a blur (at least from a social standpoint), I have some very silly, vivid memories. This weekend, I talked to people that I hadn't talked to much before this reunion, and it was great. Maybe some of them will become people I will keep in touch with over the next several years. I hope so.